# How It's Felt

> Keep a private note of how time with someone felt to you, and see it over time.

Source: https://groupthink.com/docs/how_its_felt/
Last updated: 2026-10-15

Some conversations leave you lighter and some don't, and one evening on its own doesn't tell you much. Groupthink can keep a one-tap note of how time with someone felt to you, so later you can look back at your own answers instead of relying on memory.

Only you see these. They are never used in drafted messages, in answers to assistants you connect, in emails, or on anything you share.

These steps cover the web app at [app.groupthink.com](https://app.groupthink.com) and the Groupthink desktop app, which show the same screens.

## How was that?

After time with someone, Groupthink asks **How was that?** in a few places you already use:

- In the debrief box for an in-person event on Today, and when you click **Needs debrief** or **I went** on a calendar event. It asks about the people on the event who are in your Relationships.
- On a person's page, right after you mark a planned touchpoint **It happened**.
- After you save a [logged interaction](/docs/log_an_interaction).

Tap **Better**, **About the same** or **Worse**. That one tap is saved. You don't have to write anything.

After the tap you can click **Add more** to say:

- **The conversation felt**: Mutual, Mostly them, or Mostly me.
- **It was mostly**: Analytical, Supportive, Playful, Curious, Deep, or Logistical. Pick any.
- **Right now I'd like to**: See them sooner, Keep the same rhythm, or Give it a little more space.
- A **Private note** in your own words.

Click **Save**. Tap a different answer to change it, or click **Undo** to delete it.

Groupthink asks at most once every 14 days about the same person. In between, a small **How was that?** link is there if you want to answer anyway. Skipping it saves nothing.

## How it's felt on a person's page

Open a person and click **How it's felt**. It's collapsed until you open it.

| Part                         | What it shows                                                                                                                                                                                            |
| ---------------------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| **Afterward you felt**       | Your answers, newest first, each with its day. Click one to see what you wrote.                                                                                                                          |
| **What happened**            | From the record, over the last year: meetings on your calendar and how many you organized, plans made, promises each way and how many were kept, meetings that never started, and how you were in touch. |
| **What you noted**           | Counts of your own answers, such as "You felt worse after 3 of the last 5", which kinds of time you picked, and when your answers changed. Click a count to see the reflections behind it.               |
| **What you want this to be** | Your [intention](/docs/staying_in_touch#say-what-you-want-this-relationship-to-be) and what you chose before.                                                                                            |
| **Your reflections**         | Every reflection about this person. Click one to open it, or **Delete** to remove it.                                                                                                                    |

**What you noted** starts once you have 3 reflections about the person, so one evening can't make a pattern. **What happened** and **What you noted** are kept side by side on purpose: they answer different questions, and Groupthink doesn't combine them into a score.

## Does this still reflect what you want?

If your intention for someone doesn't line up with your own answers or with how often you've been in touch, the section asks **Does this still reflect what you want?** For example, you set **Invest more**, and after your last three reflections you chose **Give it a little more space**.

- **Yes, keep it** keeps your intention and stops asking for 90 days.
- **Change it** opens the intention picker right there.

Groupthink only asks. It never suggests what to do about a person.

## Good to know

- Reflections are kept with every person they were about. A dinner with two friends is one reflection on both of their pages.
- Deleting a reflection removes what you wrote right away.
- Your reflections are included when you [export your data](/docs/export_your_data).